Even as a child, Lillian Ahenkan had an opinion, but when she didn’t get the marks to study law, it was time to reassess her career plan. Her lightbulb moment came while the Ghanaian-Australian was working in public relations: why did she have to meet other people’s expectations? Now, after stints DJing and presenting on MTV, she’s become the ultimate millennial slashie. At 27, Lillian – better known to her multitude of fans as Flex Mami or, simply, Flex – is a podcaster (she’s half of the popular Bobo and Flex show), creative entrepreneur, author of The Success Experiment, model, host, speaker and social commentator carving her own path. Here, she shares what she’s learned along the way.

When You Were Younger, What Did You Want to Do When You Grew Up?

After starting as a social media influencer, Flex Mami launched Flex Factory and wrote The Success Experiment.

I grew up in Kensington in Sydney’s east. I wasn’t a hugely aspirational kid, but I internalised a lot of ideas about what I would do when I grew up based on how people perceived me. I was chatty and confident and opinionated, so people told me I should be a lawyer. Unfortunately, that excitement for conversation didn’t make me an academic. 

That aside, I do remember being quite entrepreneurial in high school. I had a little jewellery business. I would charge people to help them do personality tests. I was very money-minded, but I guess that comes from being raised in a single-parent, immigrant household. You become quite aware of the value of a dollar by virtue of not being able to have things.

What Was Your First Job and What Did It Teach You?

I got my first job when I was 14, at McDonald’s. It was great because all my friends worked there too. What I really liked is that it gave me another opportunity to show worthiness and value. When you’re in high school, there are clear criteria for who’s a good student and who isn’t. In the work environment, I could work my way up, do more things, have more responsibility. 

What I didn’t like was the difference between what I thought was the value of my time versus what I was being paid – there was a huge dissonance. I was like, “Geez, I’m here 12, 13, 14 hours a week, and I’m only making this much. And if I’m only making that, I can’t even buy a phone.” It was very clear: if I wanted a certain lifestyle, I needed to make more money and, therefore, I needed another job.

Is That When You Began Thinking About Becoming Your Own Boss? 

That took longer. The level of critical thinking I had at the time was if one job could pay me this amount of money, then if I had three, I could have this amount. So I worked at McDonald’s, Diva and a pizza shop. 

What Happened When You Finished High School?

I had two retail jobs at the time, then I studied fashion business and dropped out. Then I studied public relations and dropped out, but I got my first job in PR because I was interning instead of going to class. It gave me more of an idea of the scope of jobs that existed. For me, it was more about being able to do something that had perceived value, like getting a job in PR even when I had such bad marks and had dropped out. If I could do that, what other industries was I kept from?

Did You Grow up Spending a Lot of Time on Social Media? 

Not particularly. When I think about my peers and what they would have been doing on the internet at the same age, they would have been on chat rooms, forums, that kind of thing. I didn’t use the internet for creating community; I just played games. When it came to having social media accounts, I was very lax with them and didn’t really post.

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What Made You Consider Becoming a Social Media Influencer?

Flex Cards are one aspect of Flex Factory – creative entrepreneur Flex Mami’s successful business.

The idea of making an income through being myself via social media came after I started working in PR. Part of my job was managing influencers, and I got an idea of what they could be paid. When I became a DJ, there was an expectation to build a brand and I started to be perceived as an Instagram influencer. And that’s when I was like, “Oh, I can use the skills I’ve acquired to do something here.”

Did You Have a Clear Vision of Where You Wanted Your Career to Go? 

When I started booking DJ gigs, it quickly went from five hours to 25 hours. Even then, I didn’t really want to be a DJ. It was a similar lack of interest that I experienced in PR. I wasn’t necessarily plotting out a strategic vision for the future, but I felt this kind of invincibility: If I could be a DJ, what else could I do? What are my options? From there, I contacted MTV and said I wanted to be a TV presenter.

Your Work Seems Very Personal. Do You Worry About Sharing so Much?

In the early stages, when I started commodifying myself, it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t think about the implications of sharing so much of myself until maybe two years ago when I asked myself, “What is the value of what I am sharing? Can I really attribute a dollar value to people having access to me?” Now it remains a top priority to create boundaries around how people access me, but also finding a way to commodify the surface layer of my identity and not the inner workings.

What Do You Think Is the Key to Your Success?

Successful social media influencer Flex Mami, of Flex Factory and The Success Experiment fame, at home.

When I started as an influencer, there was a very specific archetype: white, blonde, skinny, beachy. I needed to do something different. I needed to be the one to say, “This is the new thing we’re doing.” When people were doing acai bowls, I was starting conversations and two-way discourse. So I could create the parameters on how to do it well and how to make it interesting. Then it wasn’t about whether I was a good influencer; it was, “Can you maintain the status you have by facilitating great conversations?”

You Tackle Topics Like Race and Mental Health. Is Anything off Limits?

No, but I’m mindful about where I start these conversations now. Before, I was like, “Oh, everybody should have access to all my thoughts.” But I wasn’t mindful of my safety on the internet, and I exposed myself to communities that I didn’t want to be a part of and let myself be like a virtual punching bag for those who were committed to misunderstanding me. Now I’m still happy to talk about everything, but I’m a bit more cautious about how I discuss it. 

Listening to Your Podcasts, It Doesn’t Seem Like That…

When I was sharing everything, I was very naive about how it’d be perceived and others’ expectations of me. But it never stops. The questions don’t stop. The expectation doesn’t stop. The critique doesn’t stop. And I was like, “Whoa, if the internet won’t create boundaries, then I must.”

How Do You Take Time Out for Yourself?

I walk. I make stuff with clay. I make a lot of jewellery. I read. I’m a big movie and TV person. And I recently started doing YouTube yoga classes. But the ultimate thing, and the most underrated thing ever, is being a really good sleeper. I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners suck at sleeping, but I’m good at it. 

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What Are Your Must-Have Tools and Tech?

Creative entrepreneur Flex Mami of Flex Factory relies on technology to run her influencer business.

Number one: copious amounts of chargers and portable chargers. [But] to run the professional side of the business, I have got all the tools. I've got computers, tablets, laptops, printers, scanners. During lockdown, I realised I didn’t have any tools or processes to help me unwind, so I went to Officeworks and bought a Kindle. Finally, I had a space that was separate from my phone to unwind. That was awesome. And I just got a 3D printer, so all the things I need to do my job have been sorted.

Are You Looking Forward to the Officeworks Create-a-Thon?

It’s going to be awesome. I also think it’s going to be mayhem. Naturally, the idea of being stuck in any store late at night sounds fun, but we’re giving creatives time to really flex their abilities. There’s something special about being in an environment where people are there for a single goal, which is to make something really fun, and are given the tools they need. We’re going to get some great stuff from people.

What's Next for Flex Mami?

To share her knowledge, creative entrepreneur Flex Mami wrote a book called The Success Experiment.

My business Flex Factory, which makes conversation card games, has a new game coming out in April. Then my beauty brand – I can’t say the name yet – comes out in June. That’s a big one. My book, The Success Experiment, has its one-year anniversary around June as well, and I’m hoping to turn that into a workshop so people can come into a physical space, lean on the community and find more productive and actionable ways to create meaningful success for themselves. I’m really excited to be of service to the community as opposed to just posting stuff on the internet, and hope it reaches the right people. 

What to Try 

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